The Eighth Reflection

CHARACTERS

AMY: She/Her. Any race. Ranging from ages 22 to 32. Complex, overachiever, A-type personality, but also lazy, but also driven. She’s sweet as can be, but also has a fury, is grounded, is all over the place, is healthy, overeats, over drinks, oversleeps. She dances, she sings, she writes! She cries, she’s aimless, she’s worthless. Loving, kind, caring, dismissive, closed off, aggressive….Amy is human...And sometimes being a human, means not being one thing but being thousands of different things.

AMY 1: She/Her. Any race, but it should be the same as Amy. IS AMY. Her OCD. Her ambitious, studious side. Everything must be perfect!

AMY 2: She/Her. Any race, but it should be the same as Amy. IS AMY. Her lethargic, indifferent side. Uses food as a coping mechanism, We’re all gonna die someday so who cares, right? Soooo sadddd. Soooo unbelievably sadddd...But, like, a bowl of vanilla icing and tortilla chips will make it better.

AMY 3: She/Her. Any race, but it should be the same as Amy. IS AMY. Her caretaker. The one that looks in the mirror every morning and says “hey! It’s all going to be okaaayyyy, you’ve got this!” Let’s stay positive. Because if we don’t stay positive we are going to die. HAPPY!!

AMY 4: She/Her. Any race, but it should be the same as Amy. IS AMY. The drunken slob who burps and cries and falls over. The one who doesn’t give two shits about what people think. Her party girl. Her jokester. The one who’s just there to have a good time.

AMY 5: She/Her. Any race, but it should be the same as Amy. IS AMY. The thinker, the poet, the writer, the one who sees the world through a different lens. Always analyzing, always asking questions. Profound. Deep. Philosophical. Takes long walks in the park and writes poetry about the littered sidewalk.  

AMY 6: She/Her. Any race, but it should be the same as Amy. IS AMY. Her wistful side. The romantic. The one who sparkles quietly. The one who sings. The one who acts like a Disney princess.

AMY 7: She/Her. Any race, but it should be the same as Amy. IS AMY. Her neurotic side, who cares about superficial things. The one that steps on a scale three times a day, that dances and dances till her bones ache. The one who finds her reflection wherever she goes. The one who edits all of her photos.

POLLUTED AMY: She/Her. The same race as Amy. Amy’s sickness. Her depression. Isn’t patient. Doesn’t wait. Shows up without warning and overstays. Refuses to quit. Black sludge that infects and calcifies.

DEREK: He/Him. Any race. Ranging from ages 20 to 30. Simple, with a heart of gold. Genuine, kind. An empathetic soul. Derek is Derek. What you see is what you get...And that’s a whole lot of love and not a ton of other things.

NICK: He/Him. Any race. Around 16. A student at Amy’s school. A teenage rebel who’s misunderstood. He lashes out with deviant and criminal behavior. Is all alone. Punished by just existing. Nick wants to be seen, and almost does get seen.

POLLUTED NICK: He/Him. The same race as Nick. Nick’s sickness. His depression. The constant unrelenting fear that he is all alone. Wants to take Nick with him.

PHOEBE: She/Her. Any race. 4 years old. Amy’s baby. The end of the cycle. A new chapter.

PLACE

An antique store in Middlebury, VT.  

Note on Place: Most of the location changes are in the antique store, as they are flashbacks. We never really leave the antique store, with the exception of the school and the detention center.

TIME

Almost a lifetime.

For my mom, who loves all versions of me.

A RUSSIAN DOLL IS MISSING

Amy stands alone on stage. She is working at the antique shop, dusting items, sweeping, counting cash, etc. She hears someone knock at the door. She walks off stage. She enters holding a giant cardboard box in her arms. She opens it, unpacking a disassembled Russian doll. She tries to fit them together. She’s missing one doll. The phone rings.

AMY

(On the phone)

Hey. I’m closing up here.

She laughs hysterically.

AMY

(Cont’d.)

WHAT! Noooo. You did not. Noooo. Oh my god, alright, I’ll call the exterminator. Fuck. Love you….Oh! Wait, baby….Sorry, Derreeekkk, you’re a grown-ass man….Do you want me to pick up Thai food?.... Ok, bye.

She hangs up the phone. She goes back to rummaging around the store. She stubs her toe. Seven identically dressed Amy’s come on stage, all hopping around, holding their stubbed toe.

AMY

(Hopping up and down.)

MotherFUCKER! MOTHERfucker!

AMY 1,2,3,4,5,6,7

MotherFUCKER! MOTHERfucker!

Amy breathes deeply and moves on to do more work. Amy 1 goes to the Russian dolls and starts opening them.

AMY 1

Wait...These are all out of order.

Amy 1 starts to organize the dolls. Amy 2 slumps onto the counter.

AMY 2

My brain feels like mush.

AMY 3

One pill makes the head stop spinning.

AMY 2

Which one?

AMY 1

Wait, I swear there’s one missing...Is it...Have you seen….Wait, what? Where? I had the sixth doll...but okay, so there’s the big one and the tiny one and the middle one, were missing like...wait-

AMY 2

(Referring to Amy 1)

Ohhhh, that one.

AMY 4

He he he he….One time I was watching “Untold Stories of the ER” and this guy had the tiniest Russian doll stuck up inside his scrotum -

AMY 5

What? No, he didn’t.

AMY 4

Noooo, it’s possible. I swear, like uhhh, if you move it far enough it’s like one big, long, tube...It’s like all interconnecting….Blah, blah, blah….Oops. I’m drunk.

AMY 5

Russian dolls are weird because there’s one body...carrying a multitude of the same body...But little versions of the big body…Either that’s like supposed to be a sign of women generationally, or maybe it’s like about corporations, or maybe it’s like models in America all look the same, or maybe it’s like how nature is symmetrical, or maybe it’s like-

AMY 4

Oh my goddddddd! Save it for philosophy 101...Professor moral high ground will eat that shit up.

Amy 7 dances elegantly, gracefully. She stops.

AMY 7

I don’t know, I’m feeling like mayyybbeeee my body type isn’t right. I’m fat and gross. No, actually I have a rocking body. I’m curvy. No. I’m just fat. Can’t be a dancer and be fat like me.

She almost falls and trips over a Russian doll.

AMY 7

(Cont’d.)

Is this some sick joke?! Are you trying to say I’m PEAR SHAPED!? LIKE THIS DOLL?

AMY 1

No, god, you’re such a narcissist.

AMY 2

Yeah, who cares about what you look like.

AMY 3

You’re not fat at all! Oh my gosh! You look so good! And also, it’s really more about how you feel than how you look. I’m fatter than you, and I love myself!

AMY 4

(Burps loudly.)

Dude, we have the exact same body. We’re the same person...I don’t know how else to say that.

Amy 6 starts to sing softly. Amy 5 sits on a stool? She opens her bag and pulls out a laptop. She starts typing diligently.

AMY 5

Just five more pages...When you were younger...You ate an entire bottle of vitamin gummies...So you had to get rushed to the ER, which resulted in….NOPE….When you were younger your mother locked you in the closet….UGH….When you were younger you thought you might actually be a worm….Hmmm? If I was a Russian doll, I’d definitely be the tiny one...The one that’s small enough to smash.

AMY 4

Ohhh shit. Is that due?

AMY 1

No, I can’t think about that right now. I’m, I’m, I’m --- HAS ANYONE SEEN A MEDIUM-SIZED RUSSIAN DOLL?!

Amy 1 keeps searching. Amy 2 runs off stage, she quickly comes back with a birthday cake, chips, and heaps of food. She falls down and begins eating all of the food ravenously, she scrolls on her phone. She cries out of nowhere, loudly and dramatically. All of the Amy’s stop what they’re doing and turn to her. Amy 7 smacks the food out of her hands.

AMY 7

PUT THE JUNK FOOD DOWN!!!!

Amy 2 cries loudly.

AMY 2

No one lovvveesssss meeeeeeee!!

Amy 4 starts rummaging around the antique store. She finds a floppy dildo.

AMY 4

Woahhh. Vintage dildo! 

She presses a button and it begins to vibrate.

AMY 4

(Cont’d.)

Damn, these contraptions are wayyyyy ahead of their time.

She slips it into her pocket.

AMY 4

(Con’t.)

Workers comp.

AMY 6

Ewww! You can’t possibly use that! That’s filthy! Also, we don’t...use...toys? Right? That’s kind of pornographic and that’s not us...We’re more like dainty, get swept off our feet kind of “turned on.” I get the most heated when a guy holds me like a baby.

AMY 2

(Holding her phone. Crying while talking.)

Timmy was at-at-at-at the party with Vvvvvvvivian and he’s holding herrrr like a baby! He-he-he said he really likes me, but he was just usssssiiiinnnngggg meeeee!

AMY 4

He just wanted to get his nut and run….That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

AMY 1

Where did the cookie crumble? What? Someone go clean that up...If there’s a cookie. STOP CRYING!

AMY 2

(Sobbing and chewing on food.)

I cannnnn’tttttt!!

AMY 3

Have you gone to your therapist recently?

AMY 4

Our therapist.

AMY 1

Therapy is at 1 on monday...No 1 on Tuesday, wait….SHIT!

AMY 6

Are we not happy?

AMY 5

We should be able to just look into ourselves before seeking outside help. The world is a hard place. But we’re strong. There are children being kept in cages, wars being fought, elderly people dying, we killed the earth and we’re concerned about our weight, and some kid who has a smiley face branded on his ass?

AMY 3 AND AMY 7

YES!

Amy 4 finally spots the Russian dolls sprawled all over the ground.

AMY 4

When did we get these?

AMY 1

Collection Item.

AMY 6

(Singing)

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

AMY 6

(Cont’d.)

Snap. out. Of it. Oh god. Oh no. Not this again.

A final Amy comes on stage. She’s running and out of breath. She frantically weaves around the other women on stage. She stops. She begins pulling out her hair and crying. All of the Amy’s stop what they’re doing and run towards her.

ALL AMY’S

(Ad-libbing.)

No! Stop! Stop doing that! Stop pulling your hair out! Calm down! Just breathe!

Amy feels Polluted Amy’s presence. The other Amy’s see this. They stop and stare at Amy, pensively. Amy pulls out one of her hairs.

AMY

(Aside. To herself.)

No. Stop. Not this. Not anymore.

Derek walks on.

DEREK

Amy?

All of the women turn to look at him. He walks up to Amy. The other women gather Polluted Amy and drag her off stage.

AMY

Hi.

DEREK

Hi….Are you okay?

AMY

Yeah. Tired.

DEREK

Are you sure?

AMY

Yeah. Let’s just go home.

DEREK

You want an arm.

She clasps herself around his arm. They walk off together. Amy walks on stage alone.

GHOST ARMS

Ten years earlier. Amy is typing on her computer and drinking coffee. All of the Amy’s sit behind her, also typing and drinking coffee. Derek enters wearing headphones, bobbing his head to the music. He’s looking at antique records. Derek isn’t aware of himself in space. He stumbles backward, knocking over an antique lamp and shattering it.

DEREK

OH SHIT!

Amy quickly runs over, picking up the shattered glass.

DEREK

(Cont’d.)

Oh man, I’m such a fucking idiot. I’m like...What is wrong with me?

He gets down and starts helping her pick up the glass. Amy and Derek move away from the glass. Amy 1 runs over and begins picking up microscopic pieces.

AMY

You’re fine, it’s fine. Happens all the time. This stuff is old, ya know? It’s lived a long life.

DEREK

Oh, shit! So I like just broke a sacred relic or something?!

AMY

No, no, no! I just mean, it’s okay for these old things to break because at this point there’s a replica of this thing somewhere in the world, annnddd it’s almost like….like if inanimate objects had feelings and felt things like physically, these specific objects would all be begging me to pull the plug. They sit here all day in this dark room, getting covered in dust. This is the Hospice of furniture.

DEREK

Hahaha ohhhhh, yeah I get it. Like they’re like- the-That’s like...How’d you just come up with that?                                                                                                                                                                                  

Amy giggles. She sorta shrugs her shoulders. She throws out the pieces of porcelain. Amy 1 sighs with exasperation. She goes over and takes the trash out.

DEREK

Soooo, should I like pay for that probably?

AMY

No, really...You’re good. Like I said, it happens all the time. No biggie. Let me know if there’s anything else you need.

She goes back to her computer and starts typing aggressively.

DEREK

What’re you writing? An email or something?

AMY

Huh?

DEREK

Oh, sorry….Are you a student at Middlebury?

AMY

Uh, yeah. Actually, I’m a senior.

Silence. Typing.

DEREK

Oh, cool. Cool. I just transferred here, so.

AMY

Oh, that’s great! It’s a great - you know it has its ups and downs.

DEREK

Yeah, I just need to graduate, ya know? Get dat degree and sheet.

AMY

uhhhhh...At this point, yeah, I get that...I don’t think I was always like that but, yeah.

Silence. More typing.

DEREK

You, uh. You’re typing is--

AMY

What?

DEREK

Nothing. You’re just typing pretty aggressively….You’re a writer?

AMY

Nope. I thought I was, but actually, I suck...Everything I do sucks, it just- it’s a cliche, and then it’s not a cliche, it’s so farrrrr from a cliche it’s nothing...And it’s always about the same thing...Same damn story, characters, sammmmeeee ending...And it’s like “at this point in my education I should be better than this. At this point in my life I should be able to form a fucking cohesive thought!” but noooo...Sometimes I actually think I’m worse than I was when I first got here.

All of the Amy’s stop typing.

ALL AMY’S

This sucks.

DEREK

Oh.

AMY

Sorry. That was, uh, weird. Sorry. I don’t usually combust like that, I’m just having a really shitty day.

DEREK

No, you’re okay. I get it.

AMY

You do?

DEREK

Yeah. At my other school, I thought I wanted to be an actor. Actually, an experimental actor. So, I did this thing where I pretended to have a seizure in the dining hall, and it was like not received well...I was trying to say something, about how disengaged we all are, ya know? Like someone could be having a seizure right in front of you, but you wouldn’t know because you’re watching TikTok’s on your phone. Anyways, my advisor was like “you should really think about taking other classes, like maybe in the Humanities”...And then I realized that maybe I actually just sucked at acting, so, like, I get what it’s like to do something your whole life and then all of a sudden you can’t anymore. Like you lost the thing that made you good, and it feels like someone cut off one of your arms.

AMY

Yeah, or you thought you had an extra arm, but it never actually existed.

DEREK

Like a ghost arm.

AMY

An arm that you imagined.

DEREK

An arm you wished you had.

AMY

Yeah….But you never really did.

DEREK

I like...I bet all your arms are there...You just don’t think they are...But you seem like the type of person who has all their arms.

Derek and Amy continue talking, but we can’t hear them. They seem to be enamored with one another.

AMY 1

I feel like I have eight arms.

AMY 2

My arms are like heavy. Like two knee-high socks filled with rocks.

AMY 6

My arms dislocated and crawled across the room...Come back! Arms! You’re mine! You BELONG TO ME!

AMY 5

I feel like my arms carry too much weight...Too many things. I’m all calloused.

AMY 7

My arms are like these things that I feel belong to me but then I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize them.

AMY 3

I don’t have enough arms-

AMY 1

To handle-

AMY 4

Everything.

AMY 2

Alone.

ALL THE AMYS

Maybe Derek? Yeah! Maybe Derek can help carry some arms! Maybe!

All of the Amy’s link arms and run in a circle around Derek and Amy singing “Derek and Amy sitting in a tree, but instead of k-i-s-s-i-n-g they sing “f-u-c-k-i-n-g.” They stop and begin laughing.

AMY

If you could be one thing in this store, what would you be?

DEREK

I’d- uhhhh, I don’t know, that’s- Maybe that-

He goes to the corner and grabs a stuffed deer head. He begins galloping towards Amy. He puts the deer's head down.

DEREK

Ya know, before it was shot-

AMY

Well, it wouldn’t be in this store.

DEREK

Ok, well, then after it was shot and beheaded and stuffed, cause uh, I think it would be nice to kinda just sit up on a wall...Ya know? Not thinking about anything. Not caring about anything. Just watching dust mites.

AMY

But it’s dead.

DEREK

I dunno...It’s probably alive in a way we can’t understand…... I can feel you trying to not hit me.

AMY

Uhh, yeah ok...Sidhartha.

DEREK

Yeah, I don’t even know why I try…... But uh, here.

A change. The world gets dark. Derek pulls his arm out of its socket.

DEREK

I heard you were looking for this?

AMY

No. I just want-

Amy grabs the arm and cradles it. A change. Amy 1 takes the arm away and throws it off stage. She slaps Amy lightly across the face.

AMY 1

Snap out of it!

Amy snaps back.

DEREK

My name’s Derek.

AMY

What?

DEREK

Here- Here’s my number if you wanna hang out and listen to me stammer over my words.

Derek begins to write something on a piece of paper he pulls out of his bag. Amy grabs the slip of paper.

DEREK

(Cont’d.)

You’re the first person I’ve met here...Well, actually, you’re the first person who’s ya know acknowledged me-

AMY

East Coast liberal arts school chill….People are cold.

DEREK

YEAH! PEOPLE ARE SO MEAN! It’s like sorrrrryyyy I don’t know anything about Nietzche and communismmmm…That doesn’t mean we can’t hang out…..Anyways, I’d love to hang out...With you….or ya know, whatever, you don’t -

AMY

Yeah...I’ll text ya! I don’t know anything about Nietzche and Communism, so.   

Derek awkwardly exits. Pulling a push door, pushing a pull door, running into something, etc. All of the Amy’s walk towards the door.

AMY 3

This could be good.

AMY 1

I’m not sure we’re ready for this.

AMY 6

The last time this happened-

AMY 7

Don’t-

AMY 4

The last time-

AMY 2

Seriously, don’t. Do. this.

DRESSED YOUR BEST, DRESSED TO IMPRESS, DRESSED TO GET LAID

Amy exits. We’re in a different time. 4 years earlier. Amy enters. She’s drenched in water and dressed in lingerie. She stops, coughs. The coughing becomes overwhelming. She runs to the trash can and throws up into it. From offstage we hear the voices of men and women giggling and screeching.

WOMAN VOICE 1

Do you have a lighter?

MAN VOICE 1

Yooo, where did Amy go?

WOMAN VOICE 2

I think she left.

MAN VOICE 1

Did you see her…

MAN VOICE 2

Holy fuck, yeah.

WOMAN VOICE 1

Noosh had his hands in her pants- She looked like she was getting a gynecological examination on the dance floor.

WOMAN VOICE 2

SOMEONE BIT ME!

MAN VOICE 1

“Dressed to get laiddddddd”

WOMAN VOICE 1

Why do we still have this party? I mean the theme just screams sexual assault, or “orgy in the common room!” I mean “Dress to Get Laid?” You’d think the administration would’ve shut it down a long time ago.

MAN VOICE 2

Chill, it’s a fucking ritual, a right of passage. They’ve written books about this party.

WOMAN VOICE 1

Middlebury College everyone: A place for intellects and sexual deviants!

The voices stop. All the Amy’s sit down on the ground with her. Amy 2 is snacking. Amy 1 writes in a journal. Amy 6 hums. Amy 4 drinks. Amy 7 stretches. Amy 3 rests her head on Amy. Amy 5 falls asleep. Amy rings her hair out. She laughs. She starts to kind of cry but mostly laughs.

AMY

(Aside.)

I hate it here. I’m not supposed to be here.

I PULL THE PLUG

Amy exits. She comes back dry. We're in the present. Amy 1 starts savagely itching herself. Amy 2 falls down and curls up in a ball. Amy 3 stares out into the distance, Amy 6 begins singing, but so softly it’s almost undetectable. She stops. Amy 7 begins dancing but feels exhausted. Amy goes over to type some more on her computer. She slams her laptop shut and drops her head down on the table.

AMY 1

Shake it off.

AMY 2

Breathe.

AMY 3

I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself! No. Stop it. That doesn’t help.

AMY 4

Maybe it would just be better if I didn’t exist. Ew shut up, you’re such a cliche. BUT I FUCKING HATE IT HERE! Go to the liberal arts school, smoke cigarettes and drink too much caffeine, learn to fit in, learn to fit in, learn to fit in, learn to-

AMY 5

I keep doing this. I keep thinking I can do all of these things, be a certain way, have people see me in a certain way, but, I’m not. I’m just making a fool out of myself. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

AMY 6

They were right.

AMY 7

They were all right. Remember that time when - Uggghhh - Even worse than that - remember when you- fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck - so bad so bad so bad so bad-

AMY 1

No one can give me an arm because I’m too fucking stupid to use it.

AMY 2

I don’t think this is what I wanted.

AMY 1

What I imagined I’d have-

AMY 5

Or be.

AMY 7

Or look like.

AMY 6

Or sound like.

AMY 4

Or feel like…..

Polluted Amy enters. The other Amy’s stop and stare at her. She grabs the Russian dolls and throws them on the ground.

POLLUTED AMY

All of these...these different versions of ourselves...different identities...It’s all a fucking lie. We’re one thing. The rest of it is something we made up in our heads, but it’s not true. It’s just not. And everyone knows it. Everyone knows how worthless we are. Like fucking moldy yogurt in the back of the fridge. It’s all smoke in mirrors….Now stop pretending. Just give in. Because this is exhausting. Do you think you get the guy by letting him do whatever he wants? You’re just another notch. You think you just have to go to the hoity-toity liberal arts school to prove your worth, you think you need to dance and sing and write to show the world that you have worth, that you’re special, different….But all that happens is: the guy forgets about you, the school fails you, you realize you can’t sing, you’re a terrible dancer, your writing is boring and amateurish, and EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT YOU BECAUSE YOU SUCK! YOU JUST SUCK! YOU FUCKING SUCK! So, just stop trying.

AMY 6

Derek wasn’t laughing at us.

POLLUTED AMY

Derek doesn’t know you. He just sees the surface. He’ll know soon enough that you're a motherfucking fraud….imposter! I am the core of all that you are. I pull the plug.

All of the Amy’s nod their heads. They sit down, lying their heads on one another. Polluted Amy grabs a pill bottle out of Amy’s bag and dumps it. Amy 1 see’s this and charges Polluted Amy. Polluted Amy throws Amy 1 on the ground and hits her, only once. All of the Amy’s gasp in unison.

DEAR PROFESSOR, MY LYMPH NODES ARE SWOLLEN, AND MY BONES ARE EXPOSED.

Four days later. Amy Sits. She has a bruise on her face. She opens her laptop. She shuts her laptop. Opens. Shuts. Opens. The Amy’s enter. Amy types as the other Amy’s speak.

AMY 1

Dear Professor, I can't make it into class today because….

AMY 3

I can’t make it into class today because I have the flu….

AMY 6

Because my lymph nodes are swollen….

AMY 7

Dear Professor, I can't make it into class today because I’m feeling….

AMY 1

Sick.

AMY 4

And I think I should probably rest….

AMY 5

And I don’t want to make everyone else get sick-

AMY 1

My warmest regards,

AMY 2

MY WARMEST, FONDEST, MOST LOVING, BEST, REGARDS!

AMY 1

My best-

Derek enters.

DEREK

Amy?

AMY

Oh, hi.

DEREK

I sent you a message a few days ago.

AMY

Oh, I-

DEREK

I’m usually not this stalkery- I usually don’t- Do you still want to hang out?

AMY

Um, I didn’t mean to-

DEREK

Oh no, yeah….Sorry for-

AMY

No! I want to hangout-

DEREK

You do?

AMY

Yes. I’ve just been busy….You know, classes, senior year...All that.

The computer dings. Amy goes to check it. She’s completely floored by what she sees. She slams her computer shut.

DEREK

(referring to her bruised eye.)

What happened-

AMY

Wanna go to the top of the hill?

DEREK

What hill?

AMY

There’s a hill behind the school, where that old abandoned mansion is-

DEREK

Oh yeah, yeah I think-

AMY

It’s like all white and the windows have blue trim, and there’s that empty like swimming pool in the back and-

DEREK

Yeah, and the “caution, do not enter” sign.

AMY

It was here during world war II. It's really bare bones now. It’s just like the skeleton of the structure now. 

DEREK

What would we do there? Is it safe, or like?

AMY

I’m not going to class today--We could explore! I could take artsy photos of you leaning over exposed wires and beams.

DEREK

Uhhhhh, Yeah! Ok! I need a new student ID photo!

Amy and Derek Exit. All the Amy’s swoon.

THE MONSTER COMES

The computer dings. The Amy’s run to check it. Amy 1 quickly slams it shut.

AMY 1

It’s an invitation.

AMY 5

To-

AMY 1

Yes.

AMY 4

Just delete it. Pretend we never saw it.

AMY 6

Yes, but we did. I’m tired of burying things.

A single droplet of water falls from the ceiling. Another and another and another.

AMY 7

Was it raining?

AMY 6

That night? Yeah.

AMY 1

Does anyone know where a bucket might be?

AMY 2

Now whenever it rains, it feels like I’m being stung by needles.

AMY 1

The wood will warp if we don’t get a bucket.

AMY 4

The rain smells like vodka to me now. The kind that comes out of a plastic bottle….Takka...we always had Takka in the dorms.

AMY 7

Yeah...I smell it too. Straight Rubbing alcohol.

AMY 5

It’s her anniversary, right? In a few days?

AMY 1

Yeah. They’re holding a function at the school.

AMY 4

Remember the symposium...Bleh.

AMY 3

Yeah. They asked me to speak. I wanted to! I wanted to say all the right things, make it all go away! Be kind, be sympathetic, sorrowful, but instead I froze. Just like I did then.

AMY 2

It’s not fair. When someone dies. When someone dies, it’s not fair for everyone else to be expected to know what to do- during, after. Sometimes, you just freeze.

AMY 3

Can we just move on? We were just nineteen...Can we just-

AMY 6

Why do we do this? Why? When something happens...We go back, we go back to that night and we stop, everything stops in its tracks. We can have good things. We can! We didn’t do anything wrong.

AMY 3

We get so close! So close to feeling happy, so close to feeling close to someone, but then we remember. And then she comes back.

AMY 1

Don’t even- I feel her coming.

AMY 7

We call her polluted Amy because she’s not really one of us.

AMY 2

I call her that because she’s sick...like the planet, polluted and there’s no fixing her.

AMY 5

I don’t deserve good things...I was there...We were there, and we did nothing...to stop her...We just participated.

AMY 4

Well, that doesn’t seem fair...Everyone was “participating.”

AMY 2

Counting the minutes. Listening to the rainfall.

AMY 4

Tweaking the fuck out. She looked like a sponge foaming in a sink. Her mouth filled with bubbles.

AMY 5

Let’s think about this-

AMY 1

Logically. Let’s think about where it all went wrong….So, there we are...She is….I was….Maybe polluted Amy was there...And we just didn’t know? Maybe she was there when I was just a kid?

A little girl runs on. It is a young Amy. She is speaking to herself and coloring in a notebook.

LITTLE AMY

(Aside to herself.)

I thought about a monster who had eleven toes, eleven fingers, eleven eyeballs, and eleven arms. And I thought about the monster's house. And I thought about if the monster wore pajamas would the pajamas have eleven armholes for the monster's arms and if the monster wore glasses would the monster have...would the monster have...eleven pairs of glasses or one pair with eleven….If the monster had eleven arms would it also have eleven heads?

Seven little Amy’s enter. They all sit down and start to draw and roll on the ground. A car horn is heard from outside. Amy stands excitedly.

LITTLE AMY

Dance class, dance class, dance class, weeeeeeee! 1st position, second, GRAAAANNNDDDEEE PLLLIIEEEE!

She exits. The other little Amy’s follow behind her. A group of tween Amy’s come on. One texts. One studies. One chugs a red bull. One smokes. One eats a bag of Doritos. One hums a 2000’s pop song. One does ballet stretches. A phone rings.

TWEEN AMY

NO, THIS BITCH DID NOT!

TWEEN AMY’S

(Ad libbing.)

Nu-uh...She did not! Skank! Oh my gosh, you’re kidding! Ewwww!

The tween Amy’s exit, consumed by this hot bit of gossip. A teen Amy enters.

TEEN AMY

(Aside. Pep talk to herself.)

You can do this. All you have to do is be true to yourself. All you have to do is say the things you’ve always wanted to but couldn’t….C’mon Amy. We practiced this. We memorized this word for word. Just go in, sit down, breathe, tell them why you want to dance, why you want to write, why you want to sing, why you want to go to their school...Just...Tell them why. You know why, right?

Teen Amy’s enter.

TEEN AMY’S

Do I know why?

From offstage we hear. “Amy! Come on in!” All the teen Amy’s exit.

AMY 4

Obviously, we’re fine. At this point. I don’t see her. When did she get so….When did that Amy come? We all know where she came from.

AMY 6

College-

AMY 2

Dressed to get laid?

AMY 3

Shhhh--shhh!

AMY 7

She didn’t tell anyone she had a heart condition...She didn’t tell me.

AMY 6

Yeah, but I didn’t know anyone who actually died from that before! I thought everyone I knew was kinda untouchable, ya know?.... That’s when it happened...that night….that night...It must’ve. I replay it in my head over and over...That’s when Polluted Amy joined our posse.

AMY 4

The Amy that hits us...That bruises our eyes and makes us sleep and sleep and sleep.

AMY 3

I just want to be happy! Can’t we just suppress this? Can’t we just hold it down? Bury it? Keep it quiet?! I don’t see what’s wrong with just pretending she isn’t there!

AMY 5

Because that’s not how it works...She was born from trauma...She lives within us. There’s no ignoring her because she’s stronger than everything that came before and everything that’s coming. 

Water keeps dripping. Amy 1 finds a bucket and puts it under the leak. An ambulance siren is heard. Lights flash. The sound of rain. From outside the store, we hear commotion. Voices are only heard, not seen. While this conversation unfolds, the Amy’s all hold their arms out and examine the skin. They all grab their shoulders in pain.

EMT

How long has she been unconscious?

AMY

I-I-I don’t know...I don’t know, I don’t know.

EMT

How old is she?

AMY

Nineteen.

EMT

Can you give me a sample history?

AMY

Wh-wh-what? I don’t know / what a sample history is.

EMT

Any allergies, current medications. Is she intoxicated, or on any drugs-

The voices melt like they’re speaking in slow motion.

AMY 2

STOP!

AMY 5

Okay, okay, okay….Let’s stop. We can stop thinking about this stuff...But it’s just going to get worse if we wait forever.

The voices go away. The sirens, the rain, the bright flashing lights all stop. The dripping stops. Amy 1 goes and grabs the bucket of water. She walks off. Amy’s follow. Light trickles into the store.

BURIED

Amy and Derek enter. Derek is carrying a duffle bag and a small coffee maker.

AMY

Put it right up there.

DEREK

Up where?

AMY

On the top shelf.

DEREK

There’s no space on the top shelf.

AMY

Ok...Try...over there in that corner.

DEREK

Can we move these artificial flowers?

AMY

No! They’ve always been there.

DEREK

What about these stuffed mice on a Ferris wheel?

AMY

Fucking hell...There’s no space...There’s no more space in here for you.

DEREK

That’s not fair, Amy….You asked me to move in. You said, “Look, we’ve graduated, it seems like this is the right thing to do.” And I said “Look, I love you-

AMY

Eck.

DEREK

“I love you, but we don’t have to do what's 'right’ or 'normal,’ we can do whatever we want!” And you said, “no, we have to conform because if we don’t conform we'll end up roaming through life.” Which I didn’t really understand, but I definitely don’t wanna roam, so I’m moving in….Even if it has to be in the back office or-

AMY

I didn’t get accepted into grad school, my parents moved to Barcelona, I caught laryngitis and I had to stop singing….And then, you know my mom and the inheritance, and I thought, fuck it, next move, I’ll buy the antique store, move into the upstairs, with my college…

DEREK

Boyfriend.

AMY

Eck.

DEREK

You know that really hurts me when you-

AMY

But I can’t compartmentalize everything….There’s not enough space in my brain, and there’s literally not enough space in this room to fit you.

Beat. Derek takes the flowers and moves them to a different side of the room. He pushes a large shelf to create space. It’s his incredible hulk moment. He throws his singular duffle bag and coffee maker down.

DEREK

This is fine.

Amy is unconvinced. Derek moves a few knick-knacks opening up more space.

AMY

You’re not going to like it….Living amongst all this old crap-

He picks up a box and looks inside.

DEREK

What’s this?

He pulls out a cast, pictures, a police report, and a newspaper.

AMY

Have I not told you about that?

DEREK

About what?

All of the Amy’s enter.

AMY

It’s not like a secret or- It’s just kind of a painful memory.

DEREK

What?

AMY

Um-

DEREK

Why do you keep this stuff around, in a box? This is super sketchy. This is like a crime novel, this is---Did you kill someone? Cause this feels like the moment where the detective finds-

AMY

God, no, I didn’t kill anyone. I had a friend who died my freshman year and I was there with her…I just kept that stuff because--I don’t know why.

DEREK

What? That’s crazy, that’s....How come you never said anything?

AMY

I keep it buried.

DEREK

“Buried?”

AMY

I don’t like to talk about it because it brings up stuff for me.

DEREK

Is that why you like…..ya know?

AMY

What?

DEREK

Okay, you’re depressed….You spend weeks at a time, sleeping…..You have strange wounds, you eat too much, you eat too little-

AMY

Fuck you!

DEREK

No, Amy, I’m not judging you! It’s just stuff that I’ve noticed….And every time I say something to you, you shut me down-

AMY

I’ve told you, I’m depressed, I’m manic, I have a lot of baggage- All of the tropes, all of the things in the pamphlets, in the movies, the dramaaaaa. I have all the fucking things! But I’ve always been honest with you about that.

DEREK

Yeah, but that's as far as you’re willing to go...You have all these “labels” and you tell me exactly how you’re feeling, but never why….And maybe if I was like stronger, more- I don’t know a different person, a better person, I would’ve pushed you to talk about things with me, but I just kind of let it slip because you get so defensive!

AMY

I think you’re being a little intense.

DEREK

What’s with the cast?

AMY

I had a broken arm.

DEREK

When?

AMY

After she died.

DEREK

Who died? Your friend? Your friend, freshman year? “After she died” “I had a broken arm.” Do you hear how cryptic that all is? Does your friend have a name? Most people don’t just leave things hanging like-

AMY

I’m a little bit cryptic but it's because I don’t talk about this, I just don’t, / it’s not even worth it it’s past-

DEREK

I want to be light---I want to be light, and silly, and unbothered Derek for you, but it just feels weird...It just feels weird….It just feels like I’m so separate from you...Like a pet. Or like a-

AMY

Just stop.

Derek and Amy stand in silence. Time warps. Derek and Amy stand, looking at each other as all of the action occurs. It’s freshman year, at the “Dressed to Get Laid” party. Amy 1 acts as “Amy.” The scene shifts into a college dorm room. All of the action that occurs is with Amy 1, but it’s meant to be “Amy” in this memory. Poppy, fun, music plays. Amy makes a mixed drink. She puts on lingerie. Three of her friends come in. They’re smoking, drinking, dancing, changing into lingerie, and doing their makeup.

A knock. Another friend enters. Everyone cheers! She sits down and dumps some coke on the table, laying it out. They all snort it, giggling and talking, dancing. A routine begins. All of the girls move in unison. They go to the makeup table, apply lipstick, take a shot, snort some coke, they repeat this twice. They freeze.

Strobing lights, intense EDM music, they’re at the party now. They dance. One of the girls can’t stand up, she keeps falling down. Amy grabs her. She sits her down.

A group of “he-men” enter. They begin dancing with the girls. One of the men grabs Amy. He's grinding up on her and groping her aggressively, he bites her neck. She yelps and pushes him away.

Her friend sits in the corner, passed out. Amy 1 runs to her, she picks her up. Everyone but Amy and her friend exit.

Her friend wakes up, heaves into a trash can, She starts convulsing, foaming from the mouth. She passes out. Amy tries to drag her out of the room. She attempts to pick her up and begins walking, she slips and falls, breaking her arm. She isn’t strong enough to pick her up with just one arm. She stops. She sits and looks at her unconscious body. Long beat.

 Amy 1 runs out and re-enters with a phone. She dials. She waits.

AMY 1

I-I have an emergency. I-i-i-i need help, my friend- What? Um - 1 college drive- um 1 college drive- I’m at Middlebury college. U-u-u-u-um -

Polluted Amy enters the space. All of the Amys whimper. Polluted Amy grabs Amy 1’s broken arm and pulls on it. Amy 1 screams.

POLLUTED AMY

You’re mine.

Blackout for a brief, brief, brief, moment.

POLLUTED INDEFINITELY

AMY

So, how do I move on from that?

DEREK

……..I - You can’t.

AMY

I know.

DEREK

Do you want to move on?

AMY

It’s like there’s clay in my body, and it’s slowly hardening, and I’m scared that if I let it...I’ll turn into stone.

Derek holds Amy. They embrace each other and stay that way. Beat.

AMY 6

(Singing)

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

AMY

I’m afraid that this is the thing that informs everything else.

Blackout.

HA! MENTAL HEALTH!

Much, much, later. Amy sits in the store, amongst stacks of paper. Derek enters with a labrador. It’s like an unruly toddler on Adderall. Smashing, breaking, slobbering. Amy’s paper goes flying.

AMY

Derek! Grab Cujo, would you! He’s going to ruin these AP LIT papers I’ve been grading for hours!

DEREK

GANDHI! COME HERE GANDHI!

AMY

Gandhi is a brain-dead spaz.

DEREK

(Chasing Gandhi.)

He was soooo calm at the pet store! I thought he’d bring us some peace! He fell asleep on my foot!

AMY

Con artist.

Derek grabs Gandhi. He subdues him.

DEREK

How’s the grading?

AMY

Bad...I’m bad at this.

DEREK

Sureeeee.

AMY

No, it’s true this time.

DEREK

Just like it was true for everything else you’ve ever done?

AMY

Yes.

DEREK

SHUT UP, AMY!

AMY

The burnouts don’t respond to me, the overachievers bully me-

DEREK

Bully you?

AMY

YES! They have to contradict every single thing I say...They’re always like “Well, actually…”….I’m so afraid of seventeen-year-old honor students.

Gandhi runs around.

DEREK

GANDHI!

Gandhi keeps running. He eats some of Amy’s papers.

AMY

Are you FUCKING kidding me!

Gandhi quivers. Derrick shoves him into another “room.”

DEREK

Well…

AMY

Don’t even-

DEREK

“Sorry kids, my dog ate-”

AMY

Your midterm papers-

DEREK

Yikeeesss.

Amy picks up a piece of paper.

AMY

Ugh, great...This is just--

DEREK

What?

AMY

This is Valerie’s paper.

DEREK

Oh. How are you doing with all that?

AMY

I mean...It’s tragic...It’s horrific...It’s- I don’t know---I just think about all the other kids out there...I think about how easy it is to end up dead...And their families….these kids aren’t bad kids, either...They’re not dumb, they’re not careless for the most part, they’re just young - and young people make bad choices, but that doesn’t mean they die...It just brings up a lot of stuff.

DEREK

Yeah, I bet.

AMY

They asked me to help with the investigation.

DEREK

You?

AMY

Yeah. I’m on the board. I’m basically their president. I teach. I sub in for the drama teacher. I’m the head of their drug and alcohol education program- I run the joint.

DEREK

I’m worried about your mental health-

AMY

You sound like my drama students! Ha! Mental health!

DEREK

You’re going to take part in an investigation about a young girl who died from a drug overdose...Don’t you think that could like, I don’t know, set something off.

The Amy’s enter.

AMY 1

It’s a bad idea.

AMY

I don’t know...I mean maybe in the past, but I’ve been taking my meds and going to therapy and ya know, I feel different. Stronger.

AMY 2

I feel stronger.

AMY 3

I feel strong. I’ve always felt strong.

AMY 4

I feel pretty fucking weak...The meds just mask and numb...It’s still there...buried.

DEREK

Yeah...You’re strong, you’re strong for sure...But I just-

AMY

I wanna help-

AMY 5

By helping someone else, maybe I can heal-

AMY 6

Ummm-

AMY 7

…..This is a bad idea.

Polluted Amy enters. All of the Amy’s cower.

AMY

If anything starts to set me off, I promise I will back out of it, but I feel, honestly, so fine.

DEREK

Alright. I trust you.

Amy pecks Derek on the cheek. She exits into the same room as Gandhi. We hear “Fuck off, Mahatma!” All of the Amy’s except for polluted Amy follow her off. Derek grabs the paper. Polluted Amy Lingers around Derek. He feels her? He sees her? He knows her? Something hits him hard. He crinkles the paper and throws it in the trash. Polluted Amy laughs.

POLLUTED AMY

You are so fucked. Amy will sleep and sleep. She will scream and itch and bellow, and starve, and bruise her own eyes, slice her own thighs, and you will become irrelevant. Irrelevant. Irrelevant.

Derek breathes heavily. He’s losing his fucking shit. This isn’t about Derek though. Derek is losing his shit because he knows Amy’s going to slip.

DEREK

FUCK!

Derek paces. He exits. Amy 6 enters and sings to Polluted Amy.

AMY 6

(Singing)

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

POLLUTED AMY

What happens if the arm breaks? Commeee onnn, Amy -- Which one are you again? Oh who the fuck cares...I plan on killing you soon, anyways.

AMY 6

What?

POLLUTED AMY

I think the stress of this may just be too much this time.

AMY 4

GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Polluted Amy cackles. Blackout.

NICK, AMY, VALERIE, NICK, AMY, VALERIE, NICK, AMY, VALERIE

We’re now we’re in a very sterile office, it’s still the antique store, but now it’s “Amy’s office at the high school.” She sits with a student. All of the Amy’s sit in the room listening to Nick and Amy speak.

NICK

What am I doing here?

AMY

This is a delicate subject. So please let me know if you need anything, but we’re speaking to all of the students who were there--

NICK

Listen, I was only there for like ten minutes, tops. That’s not my scene, seriously.

AMY

I know. I know it’s not your scene.

NICK

Not at all. I hate that shit.

AMY

What?

NICK

I hate that… “parents are on block island this weekend having affairs, let’s all play beer pong on marble countertops.” I hate that shit.

AMY

Right.

NICK

Everyone comes to me first...They question me first...They accuse me of shit I didn’t do first.

AMY

Look, I’m not accusing you of anything, Nick. I’m just trying to figure out what happened that night.

NICK

Shouldn’t like the police be doing that?

AMY

They are...But as a counselor, I think it’s important for me to investigate what happened and at the same time help my students get through this tragedy.

NICK

Tragedy? She snorted cheap drugs, from some sketchy dude, and it killed her...That happens literally all the time. All the time, there are people dying in this neighborhood, left and right. This is just common-place...Why is this any different than when anyone else dies in this town? Because she’s wealthy and has straight teeth? She was a fucking cunt-

AMY

LANGUAGE, NICK! THAT IS INCREDIBLY DISRESPECTFUL!

NICK

She was!! She put cow shit inside of an oreo and fed it to the class retar-

AMY

ENOUGH!

NICK

She was mean, and she wasn’t smart, and karma is a bitch.

AMY

….you know what happened...Don’t you?... Do you know who gave her those drugs?

NICK

I said, some sketchy dude, probably-

AMY

Who?

NICK

I don’t know, one of the guys that hang out by the seven - eleven?

AMY

Who are those guys?

NICK

I DON'T KNOW! JUST LIKE HOMELESS SKETCHY GUYS!

AMY

HEY! Do not raise your voice at me like that unless you want to get suspended!

NICK

Sorry….I just don’t understand why you’re interrogating me!

AMY

Because Nick, you have a history / of troubling, illicit behavior

NICK

That’s suchhhhh bullllssshhiiitttt-

AMY

You do, Nick. We know you sell drugs, we know you’ve been arrested for disorderly conduct, you have four MIP’s, you’ve attended juvenile detention, you’re failing the majority of your classes, and you threw a chair at your US History teacher last week. You are a delinquent...So, maybe that’s why people always accuse you of things first because it usually is you.

NICK

Ok...I...didn’t….give….Valerie….that….coke.

Beat. Amy paces.

AMY 4

This kid is totally guilty.

AMY 5

Maybe he’s not. We shouldn’t succumb to stereotypes and biases. Maybe he’s trying to change?

AMY 2

He looks like an asshole. He looks like an asshole who would totally do something like that.

AMY 1

It’s obvious.

Amy stops pacing.

AMY

You know when I was younger, a year or two older than you, I had a friend die from a drug overdose. It wasn’t the same as this because she had a heart condition, and Valerie did drugs laced with Fentanyl. But it might be the same for you as it was for me.

NICK

There’s no way. Also, I really don’t need this preachy shit. You’re not gonna be my mentor or-

AMY

It’s a similar situation because she was my friend and I felt responsible because I was there and I didn’t stop her, in fact, I might have been so complicit she probably died because of me….Valerie was your friend, right?

NICK

Not at all.

AMY

I thought you two grew up together?

NICK

Yeah...But now she totally sucks...Like I said, she fed someone cow shit. She was my friend, but not anymore. Not for the last few years…….Look, can I please go? I really need to make it to 5th period or Mrs. Hanson is gonna throw a shit fit.

AMY

You can go.

Nick leaves. Polluted Amy enters.

POLLUTED AMY

And so the cycle repeats itself.

AMY 1

There is no cycle.

A CYCLE: WHAT IS GOING TO PUT MY PIECES BACK TOGETHER?

Sometime later. About a month. Amy 7 dances in the rain. Amy 6 sings. Amy runs on and off, breathless. Derek follows her with Gandhi.

AMY 6

(Singing)

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

Amy and Derek run back on. It’s still raining.

DEREK

AMY! STOP RUNNING!

AMY

I HAVE TO FIND HIM! HE MURDERED HER!

DEREK

THIS ISN’T HEALTHY! IT’S FOUR IN THE MORNING! HE’S BEEN MISSING FOR TWO WEEKS! YOU’RE NOT FINDING HIM!

AMY

I HAVE TO! I HAVE TO!

DEREK

AMY, I WILL LEAVE YOU!

Amy stops.

AMY

What?

DEREK

It’s too much. Ever since you took this on, with that Nick kid, since you’ve been trying to, I don’t fucking know “solve?” “Avenge?” this girl’s death...You have tunnel vision! You’re stuck! I AM - I FEEL IRRELEVANT!

AMY

I hate to break it ya, Derek...But we are all fucking irrelevant. There’s a dead girl and a boy who killed her, and this shit happens over and over and over again...YOUR FEELINGS ARE UNIMPORTANT! I’m not letting her just die without breaking this CYCLE! 

Amy runs off. Derek stands. Gandhi barks repetitively.

DEREK

I’m sorry Gandhi. Let’s get out of here.                                                         

Derek exits.

POLLUTED NICK

Nick comes on. It stops raining. We are in the antique store, but we’re under the impression that this is an intimate setting, where Nick is alone, like his bedroom. Another version of Nick comes on stage.

POLLUTED NICK

So, you fucked up, huh? You do it on purpose? You cut that coke and made sure only Valerie took it, right?

NICK

No.

POLLUTED NICK

I think she broke your heart- 

NICK

She didn’t break my heart, asshole! I DIDN’T LACE THE DRUGS! I HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING!

POLLUTED NICK

(Pretending to be Valerie.)

Ohhh, Nick! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry I stopped talking to you when your mom went to prison for robbing the cash register at her shitty grocery store job, and I’m so sorry I was the one who called the police on you when I saw you shoplifting at Target, and I’m especially sorry for the time I told everyone in the school that you were dealing drugs.

NICK

Don’t pretend to be her.

Polluted Nick really transforms. He becomes Valerie. He sounds like her. He moves like her. Nick is convinced.

POLLUTED NICK

Nick, I miss you. I miss when we were young. I wish I never hurt you.

NICK

I wish you didn’t either.

POLLUTED NICK

Why’d we go down such different paths? You’re a drug dealer, Nick. What happened?

NICK

Don’t be so hypocritical. You bought drugs from me.

POLLUTED NICK

Remember when we were kids? When you’d sleepover and we’d watch scary movies? Remember how we were each other’s first kiss?

NICK

Yeah, and now you’re different….You’re pretty much evil, now…..But I did not KILL YOU!

Polluted Nick transforms back into himself.

POLLUTED NICK

Maybe you didn’t kill her, but in a lot of ways, you are guilty of ending her life.

Polluted Nick exits. Nick sits, sobbing. A loud knock on the door. Nick quickly packs his things and runs off.

I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE….ARE WE ALONE?

Much, much, much later. Amy sits with a baby on her lap in the store. Amy 1 folds baby clothes. Amy 2 eats baby food, cause she’s a fucking weirdo, Amy 3 hangs a painting of a baby elephant, Amy 4 fills a baby bottle with wine, Amy 5 highlights parenting books, Amy 6 hums a lullaby, Amy 7 puts a tutu on a teddy bear. There’s a baby. A baby changes everything.

AMY

Look at you. Look at your little nose. Your sweet, squishy, belly. Uh-huh. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I want to give you all of me, ya know? Sometimes, I feel like I’m not alone. Like all the bad things that have ever happened, all the truly horrible things that have happened, hover around me. But right now...I think it might just be you and me. Just you and me, and daddy….I love you. I love you. I love you…..I want you to stay small. To stay safe.

Nick walks into the antique store.

AMY

What are you doing here? When did you-

NICK

A week ago. Thanks for, ya know helping me out. 

AMY

Yeah. I wanted to.

NICK

Really? Cause it didn’t always seem like you wanted to. At first, it kind of seemed like you wanted me locked up forever.

AMY

Well, I guess I saw something in you - I guess I remembered.

NICK

Remembered what?

AMY

Um...I remembered being you...well not exactly you, just-

NICK

Right. I’m sorry about the way I treated you that uh- that uh first time you came around to visit me.

AMY

It’s okay

NICK

I uh, was not thinking straight. You were kind of like the anti-christ to me at that point- But now I see you were just trying to help.

AMY

I was.

NICK

Thanks...For...Thanks.

AMY

Of course.

NICK

You really think our situations are the same cause like- It’s just- You were innocent and I was-

AMY

Guilty.

NICK

Right.

AMY

But not for killing Valerie. You’re guilty of being a drug dealer, you're guilty of robbing that JC Penny three years ago, and you’re guilty of a handful of other things I can’t even start to imagine...But Valerie made her own decisions that night...You didn’t…

NICK

I didn’t force her.

AMY

No.

NICK

Do you-

AMY

You’re just a kid. A kid. A product of fucked up situations, parents, environment...So you get confused, and you don’t always do the right thing. You’re still being cooked. I was not...am not...the same person I was. You deserve a chance to grow, just like me.

Polluted Nick enters.

NICK

Is that- Is she?

AMY

He.

NICK

Did you want him?

AMY

What?

NICK

Did you want him? Because sometimes I feel like I’m taking care of myself plus like a multitude of like distorted, fucked up, weird, lazy me’s.

AMY

Well, Nick, it’s not the same as-

NICK

I don’t know...Having a baby would be like having another added thing to take care of, I mean like hell, I’m a disaster! Can’t even take care of myself, ya know? So, I guess...I guess I’m trying to say something like “Brava” or “That’s impressive” or something.

AMY

Thanks…It’s hard…But it’s also like, maybe this is the version of me that actually does something good.

Polluted Nick and Polluted Amy meet one another. All of the Amy’s and Nick and Amy disappear. It’s just the two of them standing face to face.

POLLUTED AMY

Did you make them disappear?

POLLUTED NICK

The smudges in the mirrors?

POLLUTED AMY

The little moments of time that are sweet and warm, that wrap around our arms and throats and whisper “It’s okay, it’s okay”

POLLUTED NICK

I looked in the mirror and fog covered the whole thing.

POLLUTED AMY

The whole thing?

POLLUTED NICK

Nothing….But nothing…Nothing…But the bad.

POLLUTED AMY

The moments and memories that strangle and whisper-

POLLUTED NICK

“You are worthless”

POLLUTED AMY

“A million miles away”

POLLUTED NICK

“Floating far above the atmosphere”

POLLUTED AMY

And when you come back, there you are, stuck with only the bad moments, the memories that strangle.

POLLUTED NICK

Until you’re choking.

POLLUTED AMY

This baby is just a distraction.

Blackout.

DISTORTED IMAGE

Lights up. Amy is trapped inside a room full of mirrors. She doesn’t know what to think. She slowly maneuvers through the space. All of the Amy’s enter one by one. They are flooding the mirrors. Hundreds of Amy’s. Amy begins to panic. She punches one of the mirrors. Her arm throbs. Blackout.

A CHANCE TO GROW

Lights up. months earlier. Nick is in Juvenile Detention. He sits alone with Polluted Nick. Amy and Derek Enter.

AMY

I spoke to someone about getting you out of here.

No response.

AMY

Nick?

No response. Amy looks at Derek.

DEREK

She’s trying to help you, bud.

NICK

She’s the reason I’m here. She can go fuck off.

DEREK

HEY DON’T YOU SPEAK-

AMY

Derek, it’s okay.

NICK

What? Did you have a change of heart? Did the schizoid voices in your head go away? You can’t play with me. I’m not an experiment of your- your goddamn morals...You can’t make me you. You can’t make me bad or good...I’m not either...Why don’t you just fuck off, alright? I’m better off just rotting in here.

AMY

You don’t deserve to rot, Nick. That was never my intention-

NICK

Don’t use words like “intention” with me. I’m sick of that psychoanalysis shit. I’m not CRAZY! I’m not a crazy person! This isn’t a psych ward. I DON’T SEE BLUE MEN!

POLLUTED NICK

You fucking nut job. You’re a fucking nut job and you know it.

AMY

I made a mistake. I was projecting my own life onto you and that isn’t–I’m trying to make it better now.

POLLUTED AMY

Ohhhh, Amy...You can’t make things better...You only ruin, destroy, kill. You’re a masochist and you love it.

NICK

YOU WOKE ME UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT/ AND DRAGGED ME BY THE COLLAR OF MY SHIRT!

AMY

I know, I know, I KNOW! I WAS LOSING MY MIND!

POLLUTED AMY

HAHAHA LOSING YOUR MIND? IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO LOSE--I KEEP THAT SHIT IN MY POCKET!

NICK

You think that you should be in here, right?

DEREK

No. She doesn’t think that.

AMY

Yes. Yeah. I did. I did think that.

NICK

So, putting me in here was the next best thing…So you can end this “cycle”

POLLUTED NICK

(in a spooky ghost voice, mockingly)

ThE CycLe

POLLUTED AMY

(in a spooky ghost voice, mockingly)

ThE CycLe

DEREK

There is no “cycle”

AMY

Just…Don’t Derek.

NICK

Why is he here?

DEREK

Because I’m her husband…Because I care about her. Because I want to make sure she’s safe from asshole kids like you-

AMY

He’s my ride.

AMY

She’s such a cold-hearted bitchhhhh...I knew it.

NICK

You claimed that I was a murderer. They said that I was guilty of “Drug-Induced Homicide.” My mom won’t come to visit me let alone make a phone call...She looked at the ground.

POLLUTED NICK

Poor Nick doesn’t have a mommy anymore.

AMY

What?

NICK

She stared at the ground at my trial. Didn’t pick her eyes up off the floor one time. Not one time. She refused to look at me...It’s like at that moment, she decided I wasn’t her son anymore...That I was this thing that I’m not--This, this, monster….I’m not a monster! I’m as normal as they come! So I’m not this fucking, perfect, pretty, picture--I’m not a MONSTER! 

POLLUTED NICK

THE MONSTTEERRRR

POLLUTED AMY

MONSTER. MONSTER. MONSTER. HAHAHA say it three times in the mirror and they’ll come!

AMY

I know.

NICK

I hid under a bridge for two weeks. Because the whole town was after me for murdering Valerie. Because you started a committee to get me expelled...Why do you hate me so much? Do you really think that I’m you? I’m not you! You’re not going to make up for what happened in the past by ruining my life!

AMY

I know.

NICK

And then you found me.

DEREK

That’s enough, Nick.

NICK

And then you found me in the rain, my goddamn cheek stuck to the pavement, my ears filled with dirt and drain water.

AMY

Yes.

NICK

And you saw me, and you saw me...You saw me...like that...And you still thought “I hate this fucking kid...He’s a murderer.”

AMY

I wasn’t thinking about you.

POLLUTED AMY

Nooo, because you’re a NARCISSIST!

NICK

Well, you should have...Because you could’ve helped me, ya know? But instead-

The ceiling begins dripping water. It’s now raining.

NOT LETTING GO

Nick climbs out of his jumper and sits under his table as though it’s the bridge. Amy transforms, so does Derek. Amy flips the table. She calls to Derek.

AMY

HE’S RIGHT HERE! DEREK! HE’S OVER HERE! OVER HERE!

Nick stands and begins running. Amy jumps and grabs him by the leg. Derek runs in and grabs Amy, but Amy refuses to let go of Nick. Amy slips out of Derek's hands. She lunges for Nick grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. Nick scrambles for a pocket knife. He pulls it out. Derek knocks him out. Derek picks up Nick and tosses him over his shoulder. Amy pulls out her phone and dials 911. Moments later, lights begin flashing. Nick wakes up. He tries to run off. He exits the stage. From off-stage, we hear him hit the ground with a thud. It stops raining. Derek holds her. The other Amy’s gather around. Blackout.

THE MISSING DOLL

Lights up on Amy in the Antique store about a month later, Amy is shuffling the Russian Dolls around meticulously. Derek enters.

AMY

I still can’t find the missing doll.

DEREK

Huh? Oh, that...Maybe you should just toss those or put a markdown on them or something?

AMY

Yeah...I really wanna find it though. It feels wrong, to just like discard it. This belonged to some little person once, or a grandmother who lived in a cottage in Russia or something...This isn’t complete and that feels wrong...We’re supposed to preserve things here, keep them alive.

Derek dismisses this. He sits down, stressed, almost in tears.

AMY

What’s going on with you? Oh shit Derek, I’m sorry...I love you. What’s going on?

DEREK

Ghandi’s really sick.

AMY

Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. What happened?

DEREK

He- they say it’s really touch-and-go. He’s at the Vet right now.

AMY

God, Derek. That’s terrible. How come you never told me?

DEREK

I didn’t want to put any more stress on you.

AMY

I’m sorry you’ve been going through this alone….is it-

DEREK

Degenerative Myelopathy...Myelopath- degeneration? Fuck I don’t know. He doesn’t work anymore. He’s all broken.

AMY

He’s still him. Just sick. He’ll get better. I know it.

DEREK

You said, “Keep something alive”

AMY

I did? I’m sorry.

DEREK

Do you think---You said were meant to keep things alive.

AMY

Well, I meant antiques.

DEREK

I killed him. I didn’t take good enough care of him.

AMY

No, you didn’t! Dogs die. They just do. It’s not your fault.

They embrace. Derek kisses her. He puts on his jacket and walks out. The Amy’s come running in.

AMY 3

Do you think she knows?

AMY 4

She couldn’t possibly.

AMY 2

She spent the whole morning puking.

AMY 7

Yeah, that’s because you ate an entire apple pie.

AMY 2

I DID NOT!

AMY 7

My HIPS don’t lie!

AMY 2

You’re such a bitch.

AMY 7

Touche.

Amy gets really nauseous all of a sudden. She runs to a trash can and pukes in it. All of the other Amy’s get nauseated and take turns puking into the trash can.

Amy 1 runs off and re-enters with a box of pregnancy sticks. She lightly nudges them towards Amy. Amy sees them and becomes flustered as to how they got there. She examines the box. She walks offstage.

We hear the sounds of pee trickling. All of the Amy’s stand with their ears pressed up against the door. She flushes. A few seconds later, she comes back out. She tosses the stick. She goes and grabs another one. She goes back to the bathroom. Pees. Flushes. Tosses. Repeats this cycle once more and then collapses at her desk.

TWO LOSSES

A few days later. Derek walks into the room, sobbing.

DEREK

(Breaking down)

Amy...Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy….Amy, I don’t know what to do. He’s gone. He’s just gone. He was lying there on the table, and I felt his heart beating through his chest, and then it just got slower. It slowed down Amy, his heart got slower. And then it just stopped. It just stopped, Amy. I can’t. I can’t...Not Ghandi...Not my Ghandi...Oh noooo, noooo, nooo. Not him. Who will I run down the block with, who will I play at the park with, who’s going to cry at seven am and lick my face till I wake up...He was my best friend, and I just let him die.

AMY

Come here.

He does. She holds him.

AMY

I know how much Ghandi meant to you...he was an amazing, loyal, wonderful, animal...who ruined the carpet and tore up my kid's papers, but still-

DEREK

DON’T DO THAT!

AMY

Okay, okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That was insensitive….There’s something I need to tell you.

DEREK

Oh god, Amy not right now! Please, not right now! If this is about Nick, I don’t wanna hear it.

AMY

No….I’m preg-

DEREK

NANT!

AMY

Yes….But don’t get too excited. Shit, I should’ve waited to tell you, till you had a minute to grieve...you shouldn’t have to take two losses at once. I’m so selfish, I’m sorry...I think I just needed to get it out there.

DEREK

What do you mean by two losses?

AMY

I can’t keep this baby.

DEREK

What the fuck are you talking about?

AMY

I can’t keep this baby….I can’t take care of myself, let alone a baby...And I have bad karma. There’s something wrong with me...I’ll either mess this kid up or kill it-

DEREK

Stop.

AMY

No. It’s true. I can’t make the right decisions. I know that now. I let my friend die that night. I was in a moment of crisis and I took all the wrong steps because I was thinking about myself. Yep...It was all about me at that moment. I was scared, so I acted without an ounce of rational thinking. Imagine me as a mother. Imagine I forget to feed the baby because I’m depressed or imagine a pack of rabid dogs is chasing us...I’d probably use the baby as a shield. Imagine we're in a real situation and I have to be in charge of keeping this child alive….History says I’d kill it.

DEREK

No.

AMY

No?

DEREK

No. Sorry.

AMY

What is this? The middle ages? You can’t do that. You can’t force me to do anything.

DEREK

You need this baby. You need this because it will end this shit cycle of you believing you’re some sort of monster….You’re not. You’re amazing. You’re fucking everything and more. You are kind and you are scary smart, and you are nurturing...Do you know what I was doing when I was nineteen and in my first year at college?

AMY

I can only imagine.

DEREK

No, seriously.

AMY

Okay, what?

DEREK

I set the hall on fire because we were lighting each other’s farts up.

AMY

You’re kidding.

DEREK

Yeah...And you know what else….When they asked who was responsible, I lied and said I was asleep in my dorm room, and everyone else got kicked out of the dorms or on disciplinary probation, while I went on smooth sailing….

AMY

That’s pretty bad...that’s not murder though.

DEREK

Let’s really look at this, alright? This terrible thing you did...You went to a party with your friends...You all did drugs...You didn’t force her to, you didn’t lace her drink, you didn’t do anything. She took the drugs. Then what happened?

AMY

I let her die. I waited too long to call the cops.

DEREK

You were the only person there taking care of her...How many times in your life did you see someone close to you seize like that? How many times did you have to call the police because someone was dying?

AMY

Never. I never had to.

DEREK

So you made some bad decisions as all kids do, but you are not a murderer….Or a monster...You’re like an angel if anything. And I say “No.” You are not aborting our baby because of some stupid thing you did as a kid. You’ve grown.

AMY

Well...how am I any different from Nick?

DEREK

Because you’re not a drug dealer, Amy….But ya know, maybe Nick also deserves the chance to grow.

AMY

You believe that.

DEREK

I didn’t want to fight with you...And you had some serious fire in your eyes when it came to this kid...I thought maybe this is what you had to do to make this end….But I think maybe I was wrong. I think this...this baby...Is the thing.

Amy cries. All of the other Amy’s begin to cry. Blackout.

FOCUSED IMAGE

Amy stands in the hall mirrors again. She watches all of the other Amy’s around her. She smiles. They all smile back. Blackout.

MORE BLURRED LINES, STATIC, NOTHING

About two months later. Nick sits alone in the Juvenile Detention Center. We hear “You’re out.” Nick begins scrambling. He takes off his jumper, he throws on a coat. As he’s walking out Polluted Nick comes in.

POLLUTED NICK

Where to now?

NICK

I’m out of here.

POLLUTED NICK

And who are you going to, huh? Your mom? She disowned you. Your friends? They’re terrified they’ll become implicated in your deviant behavior. You have no one. And now all you see is the nothing. The nothing creeps and creeps and haunts and sucks you in. The blurry mirror shatters and behind it, more blurred lines, white, static, nothing.

NICK

Amy said she’d help me.

POLLUTED NICK

You know Amy has one just like me.

NICK

What do you mean?

POLLUTED NICK

A friend who shows her the bad moments, who makes the mirror blur, who reminds her of her darkness.

NICK

I’m done listening to this shit. You’re not real.

POLLUTED NICK

What does that mean? You see me, you hear me, you look in the mirror and you see my reflection...I’m just as real as you, you stupid motherfucker.

The stage breaks into two. Amy and Polluted Amy on one side in the antique store and Nick and Polluted Nick on the other. Amy 6 comes on in between the two. She sings.

AMY 6

(Singing)

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

Everyone on stage hears the song, but they don’t know where exactly it’s coming from. Amy 6 directly addresses the audience.

POLLUTED NICK

Did you hear that?

NICK

The song?

AMY 6

I sing the song like I sneeze. It’s a reflex. A scratch on a record. It controls me.

POLLUTED AMY

Remember when you wrote that song. You thought it would be healing. You thought it would close old wounds.

Amy screams. This is the first time she’s ever really seen an Amy.

POLLUTED AMY

(Cont’d.)

Oh my god…What the fuck is wrong with you?

AMY

No. No. You’re the thing-

POLLUTED AMY

That you dream about?

AMY

Yeah.

POLLUTED NICK

(To Nick)

Ya hear that?

NICK

The scream?

POLLUTED AMY

There’s you and there’s me. What separates us is your silly little Wellbutrin prescription. What separates us is those little fleeting moments when the sun rises and the light touches the ground. Derek? A baby? Just a flicker of light…

AMY

I have spent years running towards you. Falling into you again and again and again. I know who you are…You’re not me. You are / the memories.

POLLUTED AMY

The memories? The moment the light left your body?

AMY 6

And this song just infiltrates and infects and plays and plays and plays, until the words sound like a tornado of screams.

POLLUTED NICK

You think Amy is going to save you?

NICK

Not save me.

POLLUTED NICK

Right, because you’re pretty much unsavable.

NICK

She can help me though. Help me. At least help me try to-to get out of here to be…better.

POLLUTED NICK

Her “friend,” the one like me, the one that obscures the light - She’s coming for her. When she least expects it, she’ll close around her. 

NICK

And then what happens?

POLLUTED NICK

No more light.

AMY 6

This arm will carry us all….It can’t…It can’t carry anyone anymore. One, and two, and three, and four, and five, and six, and seven….can’t overcome eight. The pieces are all over the floor. The arm is broken. All seven. All seven arms are broken. And eight will come, and eight is not like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven…Eight makes the song play. Eight makes only the song play, and no light, and no sound can get through the song.

POLLUTED AMY

(Singing)

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

One makes the brain grow colder

Two makes the limbs go stiff

Three makes the mouth open just enough to slip

Four lets the memories pass with swollen knee caps

Five wanders through the waters, picking up pieces of bone

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

This arm will carry us all

AMY

Yep. That’s it. That’s all I can hear all the time.

POLLUTED AMY

That’s all you’ll ever hear.

Blackout.

YOU CAN DO THIS

Lights up. Later. Amy is very pregnant. She is sitting in the antique store trying to put together a bassinet and failing miserably. Amy 1 enters with an instruction manual.

AMY

I can’t do this.

AMY 1

We can. We can do this. We just need to follow the instructions.

Amy 2 and 3 enter.

AMY 3

This is just like that time we thought we couldn’t change a tire, and then we did.

AMY 2

This bassinet is nothing compared to the time we told Robert Cesario to fuck off and die after he told us we had cankles.

Amy 4 and 5 enter. Amy 4 pours Amy a glass of wine. Amy takes a sip.

AMY 4

To take the edge off...Some of the most fun moms we knew were complete lushes.

AMY 5

We spent hours researching this bassinet, finding the very best one, making sure there were no weird chemicals, no plastic, no faulty craftsmanship….This is the very best bassinet because that’s how much we care.

Amy 6 and 7 enter. They both get down on their knees and begin putting it together. They finish the bassinet.

AMY

Oh my god...Thank you, Jesus.

She takes a swig from the wine.

AMY 1

You can do this.

AMY 2

You can do this.

AMY 3

You can do this.

AMY 4

You can do this.

AMY 5

You can do this.

AMY 6

You can do this.

AMY 7

You can do this.

AMY

Everything is going to be alright. Everything is going to be alright. You can do this.

Blackout.

HERE TO PROTECT

We are back with Polluted Amy and Amy and Polluted Nick and Nick. They are still on separate sides of the stage. Amy 6 addresses the audience.

AMY

I built a bassinet. The song played. But I stopped it, and I built a bassinet.

POLLUTED AMY

Bassinets break.

AMY

Not this one.

NICK

I got out of juvie.

POLLUTED NICK

You’ll go back...They always go back.

POLLUTED AMY

Do you see the nothingness? The bad? Do you feel it choking you? Did the light leave?

AMY

Only when you’re around.

POLLUTED AMY

Where do you see me? In your head? In your memories? In muddy reflections?

NICK

I only see you when the world gets huge and I feel small.

AMY

You come around when I fail. When I make mistakes. When all the memories come rushing back and you-

NICK

And you-

POLLUTED AMY AND POLLUTED NICK

Choke you.

POLLUTED AMY

Cover you up.

POLLUTED NICK

Do you ever think that maybe we’re here to protect you? To stop you from the next bad thing. If you’re doing nothing, feeling nothing, ceasing to exist, then how can you hurt?

AMY 6

Six learns to heal their home. Okay? Fine. One and two and three and four and five and six and seven will heal the home, but eight has already burned it down.

NICK

I’m just tired. I’m just so– When does it stop…When can I look in the mirror and see myself, not some blurred version? When the light hits the ground it’s only momentary. I feel like I’m living in the night.

POLLUTED NICK

That’s pretty much how it will always be.

NICK

Yeah. Yeah….You know I don’t even feel afraid of you.

POLLUTED NICK

You shouldn’t.

NICK

There’s so little light already. There’s such little sound. It’s just like a soft hum in the middle of the night.

POLLUTED AMY

Are you afraid, Amy?

AMY

I’m fucking terrified.

POLLUTED AMY

Don’t be.

AMY

I’m afraid…I wake up afraid. I go to sleep afraid.

POLLUTED NICK AND POLLUTED AMY

Do you want to come with me?

Nick begins typing a text.

POLLUTED NICK

Let me help you.

AMY

Fuck no.

POLLUTED AMY

What?

AMY

I said: Fuck no. I’m not coming with you.

POLLUTED NICK

Tell her you’re sorry.

NICK

(texting)

I’m sorry, but I feel empty. I’m choking and drowning and there is no light left.

POLLUTED NICK

Good. Tell her why.

NICK

(texting) 

I killed Valerie. I dream about her. I see her in the clouds. I hear her voice. I can’t keep on living with this dark shadow following me around.

POLLUTED AMY

Aren’t you tired?

AMY

Yes.

POLLUTED AMY

So, why don’t you just stop fighting me.

Amy’s phone goes off. It’s the text from Nick.

AMY

Oh no. No.

Nick and Polluted Nick sit down together. Polluted Nick takes Nicks arms running his hands up and down them.

POLLUTED AMY

Come on, Amy. It’s dark outside. You’re tired. 

The world gets dark around them. We can no longer see Nick and Polluted Nick. A light flickers.

AMY

I built a bassinet.

POLLUTED AMY

Bassinets break.

AMY

Not this one. I built this one to last. I built it with my hands for my baby. The baby that breaks the cycle. The final and best version of myself.

The Amy’s enter.

AMY 1

I built a bassinet with my arms to carry the baby.

AMY 2

I built a bassinet and put it by the window to catch the sunlight.

AMY 3

I built a bassinet that protects from nightmares.

AMY 4

I built a bassinet that can weather a storm.

AMY 5

I built a bassinet that drowns out all the noise.

AMY 6

I built a bassinet that plays a new song each day. That creates new moments and new memories. A song that’s filled with possibility.

AMY 7

I built a bassinet that will carry us all.

AMY 6

(Singing.)

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

AMY

I wrote a song. After she died. I wrote a song to try to help myself heal, to get the thought of her outside of my own brain…And you took the song and you made it yours.

All of the Amy’s grab on to Amy’s arm. Amy stops and looks at them, acknowledging their existence for the first time. The flickering light gets brighter.

AMY

(Cont’d.)

I’m not interested in going with you.

POLLUTED AMY

Interested? Each one of us has one of me, some are louder, some are stronger, some are just a whisper. Not all of us are seen or heard. Not all of us are always there. But everyone is polluted from the day you open your eyes. We’re just waiting.

AMY

Then keep waiting…Because I’m done looking in the mirror and seeing your reflection. I am so much more than you.

POLLUTED AMY

I’m a reminder.

AMY

I don’t need to live my life with constant reminders. The song.

POLLUTED AMY

(Singing)

Six learns to heal their home

Seven wants to warm the sap

What is going to help me put my pieces back together?

Amy grabs polluted Amy’s arm. Polluted Amy softens.

AMY

It’s okay.

POLLUTED AMY

Really?

AMY

It’s okay to move on.

POLLUTED AMY

We dropped her.

AMY

Our arms weren’t strong enough.

POLLUTED AMY

And the song?

AMY

The song exists because we wrote it. But the song doesn’t have to haunt us. It might come and go, but it won’t stick.

POLLUTED AMY

I’m pregnant.

AMY

I know.

POLLUTED AMY

I built a bassinet.

AMY

You did.

POLLUTED AMY

It might break.

AMY

If it breaks, we’ll fix it.

 AMY 1

(Singing)

This arm will carry us all

AMY 2

(Singing)

This arm will carry us all

AMY 3

(Singing)

This arm will carry us all

AMY 4

(Singing)

This arm will carry us all

AMY 5

(Singing)

This arm will carry us all

AMY 6

(Singing)

This arm will carry us all

AMY 7

(Singing)

This arm will carry us all.

The light grows stronger, until it’s blinding. Blackout.

SEVEN LITTLE PHOEBE’S

Lights up on Amy four years later. She is sitting in the antique store. A little girl, Phoebe, runs around the room pretending to be a monster.

PHOEBE

There’s a monster.

AMY

There’s no monster.

PHOEBE

Un-huh. I saw a monster in the mirror. It had long teeth and hair made of dirt. Or dirty. It was dirty. And I was “woahhhh” and it was “roarrr.” 

AMY

Baby. There’s no monster.

PHOEBE

How do you know? You weren’t there. It did this.

(Pheobe makes a monster face and sound.)

PHOEBE

(Cont’d.)

And it was at me.

Amy picks up Phoebe and swings her around.

AMY

I bet you did see a monster…But the thing about monsters is that we are stronger than them. They can’t get us.

Phoebe runs behind the desk and pulls out the Russian Dolls and starts taking them apart.

AMY

Should we play with them?

PHOEBE

Mhm. This one is the one who wears too much makeup…And this one is the one who can fly.

AMY

She can fly?

PHOEBE

Yes.

AMY

Woah.

PHOEBE

And this one is the best at everything. She can do anything and she’s the best always. And this one can turn anything into candy. And this one has a big belly. And this one is kinda weird - they all laugh at her cause she’s weird. And this one only lives in the ocean.

AMY

What about this one?

All of the Amy’s enter. They quietly watch Phoebe and Amy. Polluted Amy comes on. Amy stops and stares at her.

POLLUTED AMY

I’m not here to hurt you. But, just know I’m always here…But I’m smaller now.

PHOEBE

This one is all alone.

POLLUTED AMY

If ever I come back…If you hear my song…I won’t be strong enough to take you with me.

Polluted Amy looks at all of the Amy’s. Amy turns to see them.

POLLUTED AMY

(Cont’d.)

Any of you….I’m sorry about your friend. His light had dimmed. He only saw the monster in him. He could only see me.

Polluted Amy leaves. All of the Amy’s run to Amy and hold her. They let go.

PHOEBE

Can we put them back together?

AMY

Yeah, baby. We can put them back together now.

Seven little Phoebe’s come on stage. They run around playing with the Amy’s. Blackout.

End of Play